If I forget you every night, could I still love you? – A story of anterograde amnesia
Tonight, I watched a movie.
A movie called ‘Even If This Love Disappears from the World Tonight.’
At first, I just… wanted to clear my head by watching a touching film. Things have been pretty tough lately.
But after watching it, something changed.
My perspective on the world shifted gently.
The girl who loses her memory every night
The heroine, ‘Seo-yun,’ suffers from anterograde amnesia.
To be precise, it’s a condition where she forgets everything that happened that day once she goes to sleep.
So, she writes in a diary every night.
“This happened today.”
“I met this person today.”
“I felt this way today.”
The next morning, when she opens her eyes, yesterday is gone. So she reads her diary. To meet yesterday’s self, yesterday’s people, and yesterday’s emotions all over again.
A strangely uncomfortable moment
The movie was beautiful throughout.
Truly.
But one specific scene felt strange.
The scene where they have their first kiss while watching fireworks at night.
They held hands for the first time, and it led straight to a kiss.
Seo-yun said, “I don’t want to lose my memory.”
A sincere confession because she liked the protagonist, ‘Jae-won,’ so much that she didn’t want to forget him.
But… did they have to kiss?
At that moment, I had this thought.
“Why did it have to be a kiss?”
Is sexual contact necessarily proof of love? Isn’t that just desire?
I tried thinking from a man’s perspective. Is kissing an act of ‘giving’ something to a woman?
But honestly, once you kiss, you start wanting more. And then you want something else after that.
Is love about fulfilling the other person’s desires?
Maybe it’s because I’ve never experienced real love..?
Does real love actually get deeper after physical contact? Without any problems or dissatisfaction?
I’m still not sure about these things.
Why it was still beautiful
Jae-won had heart disease, so he avoided exercise. Seo-yun lost her memory every night, returning to the time right after her accident.
Both were people with painful wounds.
But within that imperfection, they accepted each other and loved anew every single day.
Jae-won found joy in making her happy every day, and Seo-yun remembered him again by reading her diary every day.
“Even without memory, love is still possible.”
What is anterograde amnesia?
I looked it up after the movie.
Anterograde Amnesia.
A condition where one cannot form new memories.
Past memories remain, but events after a certain point cannot be remembered.
Causes
- Brain damage (car accidents, trauma)
- Hippocampal damage
- Encephalitis, stroke
- Alcoholism
Symptoms
- Inability to remember new information
- Forgetting people just met or conversations just had
- Loss of sense of time
Like the heroine in the movie, there are cases where memories of the day disappear after sleeping.
What I realized
Until I saw this movie, I think I only viewed the world from a survival perspective.
“I have to achieve my goals.”
“I have to be perfect.”
“I shouldn’t make mistakes.”
So I practiced abstinence and disciplined myself strictly.
But yesterday, I failed my abstinence.
In terms of vital energy preservation, it was my 5th month,
and in terms of complete abstinence, it was my 1st month.
Yesterday was the day my complete abstinence broke.
I felt miserable enough to die.
“I’m a truly broken person.”
That’s what I thought.
⬇️ Why do I practice asceticism?
But after watching the movie, my thoughts changed.
The real thing might not have even started yet.
Not survival, but communication. Not perfection, but connection.
Sharing your heart with people. Being together even if you’re imperfect.
Isn’t that what real life is? Why did I think of myself as such a worthless person..?
But in a corner of my heart, it really hurts thinking about the things I’ve lost.
Still, I thought about it. Maybe I can be healed through sincere communication with others.
The final line
Jae-won can no longer be with her due to his heart disease.
So he asks a friend to ‘erase him from Seo-yun’s diary.’
Then, as Seo-yun’s anterograde amnesia improves,
she slowly recovers her previous memories and says:
“If everyone is losing you from their memories, I’ll try to remember you bit by bit.”
The moment I heard this line, my heart was moved.
A love that isn’t being lost, but being reclaimed.
I think I’m the same way.
I failed my abstinence, blamed myself, and suffered, but after watching the movie, I felt that “there is this kind of beauty in the world.”
Though I’m not perfect, I’m slowly reclaiming it too.
The meaning of life. Connection with people. Real love.
Anterograde amnesia, is it treatable?
Unfortunately, a complete cure is said to be difficult.
But there is hope for every illness to be managed.
Rehabilitation therapy
- Cognitive rehabilitation programs
- Repetitive learning
- Creating daily routines
Assistive tools
- Keeping a diary (like the heroine in the movie)
- Recording photos and videos
- Alarms and memos
Emotional memories remain
Surprisingly, emotional memories tend to stay relatively well.
“I feel comfortable with this person.” “I like this place.”
As shown in the movie, even if you don’t remember, the body and heart remember first.
Even if memories fade, love remains
Anterograde amnesia is certainly a difficult condition.
Forgetting the person you love every night is a great pain for the patient as well.
That’s probably why he asked to have his existence erased from the diary.
To protect Seo-yun, who would be sad and in pain every night.
But love exists beyond memory.
Even without remembering, the warmth of being with that person, the moments that make you smile, the sense of peace in your heart.
If it was a precious memory, it will come back to you someday.
And isn’t that what real love is?
Closing thoughts
Last night, I saw the world differently through a single movie.
Not survival, but communication. Not perfection, but connection.
If I can’t remember today, if everything disappears by tomorrow morning,
Still, this moment right now is real. Memories may fade, but love remains in the heart.
References
- Movie ‘Even If This Love Disappears from the World Tonight’ (2026)
- Korean Academy of Medical Sciences
- National Rehabilitation Center Cognitive Rehabilitation Center
