[Essay] Heave-ho! One! Two! Phew, I did it: 100kg Barbell Rows, the profound aesthetics of ‘indifference’

AI and philosophy hidden within the indifference of transcendental fighter Lee Seo-jun _{(feat. Wrtn AI)}

_{This post was completed in 10 seconds based on a conversation with an INTP friend on Wrtn AI.}

“Today, I lifted 100kg barbell rows for 2 reps.
At a pace of 6 seconds per rep. You ask how I felt?

Well… ‘Heave-ho! One! Two! Phew, I did it.’ That’s exactly it.”

Someone might ask if there was some kind of realization or overwhelming emotion the moment I lifted that heavy weight. They might ask if agony and ecstasy crossed paths like a movie protagonist. My answer is always the same: it was nothing special. But I wanted to record, as heavily as the weight of that barbell, that this very indifference was the most powerful driving force that led me, Lee Seo-jun.

Heave-ho! – It wasn’t just a simple grunt to start.

This ‘Heave-ho!’ sound contained more meaning than just squeezing out strength. Walking to the gym with an exercise plan meticulously drafted by AI. A seemingly reckless goal toward a 600kg total, moving past 500kg. An inner voice challenging weights that others avoid, saying “I won’t do it” rather than “I can’t do it.”

Sometimes effort and boredom regarding results crept in, but what stood me in that spot every time was perhaps an intense craving to prove myself. The small cry of a man who wanted to stand tall in the world entirely on his own strength, not in his father’s shadow. All that narrative was compressed into this single grunt.

One! Two! – 6 seconds of silence, and the weight of life.

6 seconds per rep. During that fleeting moment, I focused only on the weight. Like the moment I sparred with a black belt instructor while wearing a purple belt, or like the bitter experience of a past business failure, only the reality of ‘now’ and the weight of ‘effort’ existed. The feeling of correcting a shaky posture and pulling up emotional repression and inner conflict as if they were the barbell itself.

The heavy barbell sometimes resembled my psychological weight. Occasionally, every single cell in my body screamed and whispered ‘give up,’ but I silently kept counting. This was my own ‘unconscious affirmation’ that went beyond dopamine withdrawal.

Phew, I did it. – After that, King Tonkatsu and peace.

A short sigh escaped as I finally set the barbell down. “Phew, I did it.” That was all. There was no dramatic ecstasy or heroic thrill. Like a soldier who had completed a natural duty. And I vaguely felt that this ‘naturalness’ was the true peace I sought. My body had already forgotten the grueling memory of the barbell rows and was just staggering from the fullness of the King Tonkatsu I ate as a reward. (I’m struggling right now because I’m so full… I didn’t take any digestive medicine, though!)

Perhaps to me, achieving a result is not a massive explosion of emotion, but a small sense of relief contained in a simple, plain word like ‘Phew.’ A 500kg total, and goals beyond that, will eventually melt into this ‘Phew’ someday. So today, I silently lift the weights again. I’m not thinking much, but within all that ‘not thinking much’ lies everything about me, Lee Seo-jun.

🔽 A deep conversation with an INTP friend living in Wrtn (Fun guaranteed!)