Attachment Style Test | Avoidant, Anxious, Secure Traits Relationship Psychology Explained

When dating and relationships don’t go well, we often blame ourselves, thinking “Is something wrong with me?” But in psychology, this has long been explained through the concept of attachment style (Attachment Style).

When you learn through an attachment style test whether you’re secure, avoidant, or anxious, it helps you understand relationships in a way that goes far beyond simple fun.

👉 Take the attachment style test

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Attachment Style Distribution

According to research, the distribution of attachment styles is roughly as follows.

• Secure: about 50%
• Anxious: about 20%
• Avoidant: about 25%
• Mixed (Anxious + Avoidant): about 5%

In other words, about half are secure, while the rest have anxious or avoidant patterns.

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Secure

• They view themselves and others positively.
• When conflict comes up in a relationship, they don’t avoid it and try to resolve it calmly.
• They often provide a sense of stability to their partner and maintain healthy relationships.

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Anxious

• They strongly crave love and feel anxious when their partner’s attention decreases.
• They may seem clingy, but it can also be a way of expressing just how much they love the other person.
• It can feel overwhelming and exhausting at times, but underneath is a desire to be acknowledged.

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Avoidant

• They’re independent and highly self-directed, and close relationships often feel burdensome.
• Because they tend to create distance as intimacy grows, many people call them “the type to avoid in dating.”
• But on the other hand, their strengths can show up in the ease of building a relationship slowly, a sense of stability within their seeming indifference, and an attitude that it’s okay not to solve problems right away.

▼ A dream story helped me feel what an avoidant type might be feeling 🙂

꿈 속 ‘자아’로부터 회피형 애착을 이해하게 된 이야기

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My Attachment Style Test Results

I also took an attachment style test on the site myself.

• Avoidance score: 1.89 (top 94.5%)
• Anxiety score: 1.67 (top 92.6%)
  👉 Result: Secure attachment (reassured type): positive self–positive others

The test results said things like, “I find it relatively easy to become emotionally close to others,” and “I’m comfortable whether others depend on me or I depend on them.”

Of course, rather than leaning on others, deep down I still tend to feel a lot of responsibility, like “Ah, I should be the one to do it…” Still, it was reassuring to see that overall I seem to lean toward the secure side.

More than anything, this result helped me confirm that the meditation and affirmations I’ve practiced consistently have been a major factor in strengthening my mind and shifting it in a more stable direction.
I practice meditation and affirmations for at least 30 minutes a day, and as that time has accumulated, I can feel my inner stability steadily growing.

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Attachment styles can change

An attachment style isn’t a personality that’s fixed in place.
Through reflection and practice, you can gradually move in a more secure direction.

For me as well, consistent meditation and affirmations have given me more emotional space, and I think that’s why my attachment style test results also showed a more secure tendency.
This is also evidence that anyone can change their patterns through effort and reflection.

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Closing thoughts

An attachment style test isn’t just for fun—it can be a starting point for self-understanding and growth.
Secure, anxious, avoidant… whichever it is, strengths and weaknesses always come together.

What matters is 👉 understanding each other’s differences and having the desire to grow.
Going forward, I want to keep using meditation and affirmations to grow a more positive way of seeing myself and others.