{"id":9131,"date":"2025-04-29T19:42:35","date_gmt":"2025-04-29T10:42:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sinbidays.com\/understanding-avoidant-attachment-through-the-self-in-a-dream\/"},"modified":"2026-03-09T15:39:54","modified_gmt":"2026-03-09T06:39:54","slug":"understanding-avoidant-attachment-through-the-self-in-a-dream","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sinbidays.com\/en\/understanding-avoidant-attachment-through-the-self-in-a-dream\/","title":{"rendered":"Understanding Avoidant Attachment Through the ‘Self’ in a Dream"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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“Liberating Emotions Through the Self in a Dream”<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n

Hello. This is Shinbi Days.<\/p>\n\n

I mentioned avoidant tendencies<\/strong> before, remember?<\/p>\n\n

Today, I found myself thinking again about people with avoidant attachment,and I have some insights<\/strong> to share.<\/p>\n\n

What is Avoidant Attachment?<\/h2>\n\n
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The avoidant attachment type wearing a mask.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n

Avoidant attachment is when someonetries to get closer when distance grows in a relationship,but pushes away when things get too close\u2014a confusing and difficult type to deal with<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n

People with this tendencyexpressed emotions to their parents as children,but those emotions were ignored or even forced upon them,which is why they show these behavioral patterns.<\/p>\n\n

In severe cases,they blame everything on the other personand engage in gaslighting<\/strong>.They do this to gain control of the relationship and manipulate the other person.<\/p>\n\n

I used to view people with avoidant attachment negativelybecause of these traits.After all, their seemingly aggressive behavior is real.<\/p>\n\n

A Hidden Truth Revealed Through a Dream<\/h2>\n\n
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Gaining insight through a dream.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n

But last night, I had a strange dream.<\/strong>For some reason,I felt like a certain woman was an ex-girlfriend.<\/p>\n\n

She was crying in front of a gym.That crying was a signal calling out to me, asking to be understood.<\/p>\n\n

But I felttired of the way she expressed herself\u2014not directly,but in roundabout ways even when she knew,so I ignored her for a moment.<\/p>\n\n

I thought the crying was intentionally done.Being in a dream, I was less conscious and accepted it unconsciously.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n

Still, my heart ached,so I stood in front of the crouching girl.Then she said:<\/p>\n\n

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“You knew all along, and you’re only coming now?”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n

So I responded defiantly:<\/p>\n\n

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“That means you knew too, doesn’t it?”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n

Being a dream, I didn’t say anything precisely,but I could understand it intuitively.She was trying to manipulate me,and I was trying to maintain my own behavior.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n

The crying felt like ‘blame and insult,’<\/strong>and knowingwas a metaphorical expression of intentionality<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n

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Eventually exploding in the dream.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n

But as I walked for a while in the dream,I kept hearing that girl’s voice from before.At some point, emotions welled up so muchthat I burst out with anger, rage, and sadness all at once,screaming with all my might.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n

Then her voicegrew louder with expressions that seemedtruly sorrowful, frightened, and anxious<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n

That’s when I realized.<\/p>\n\n

She’s not doing this maliciously.She’s truly sad, scared, afraid, and anxious,which is why she expresses herself differently to others.I felt that sadness and fear.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n

Upon realizing this, I understood that her voicewasn’t that of an ex-girlfriend,but the voice of my self<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n

And fortunately,my self was actingto teach me some lesson.<\/p>\n\n

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I was so relieved that no one was hurt.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n

<\/p>\n\n

Avoidant Attachment Feels Anxiety.<\/h2>\n\n
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Pain wielded toward others.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n

Avoidant typessometimes manipulate others,criticize them,and diminish their worth.<\/p>\n\n

Let’s take a step back and see:<\/p>\n\n

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‘They carry deep fear and anxiety.’‘They’re attacking, but it’s to defend themselves.’‘They want to get close to others, but it’s just difficult for them.’<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n

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‘And do their words really affect us?’<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n

<\/p>\n\n

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A heart that understands and accepts each other.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n

We just need to think:Their words have thorns,but we have the capacity not to be pricked.<\/p>\n\n

If criticism hurts,we’ve lost love for a moment.But avoidant typesfeel that pain all the time.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n

If we can take the prick of the thorn in their place,if it makes them even a little more comfortable,that’s enough.<\/p>\n\n

What’s truly important at the coreis letting go of the thorny tree from our hands.However, trying to forcibly take it away only causes more wounds.<\/p>\n\n

So they can feel it’s okay on their own,we share love.Little by little, slowly seeping in.This was Shinbi Days. Thank you \ud83d\ude42<\/strong><\/p>\n\n

<\/p>\n\n

\u25bc An emotional essay on avoidant attachment<\/strong><\/p>\n\n

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Just because they smile doesn\u2019t mean they\u2019re okay \u2014 the real face of the avoidant type<\/a><\/blockquote>