{"id":10826,"date":"2025-11-09T00:54:04","date_gmt":"2025-11-08T15:54:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sinbidays.com\/abstinence-wasnt-repression-it-was-real-love\/"},"modified":"2026-03-09T15:35:23","modified_gmt":"2026-03-09T06:35:23","slug":"abstinence-wasnt-repression-it-was-real-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sinbidays.com\/en\/abstinence-wasnt-repression-it-was-real-love\/","title":{"rendered":"Abstinence wasn\u2019t repression\u2014it was real love."},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"800\" height=\"781\" src=\"https:\/\/sinbidays.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/Game-Female-Character-1024x1000.jpg\" alt=\"A realistic, attractive female character is dancing in a training outfit.\" class=\"wp-image-4689\" srcset=\"https:\/\/sinbidays.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/Game-Female-Character.jpg 800w, https:\/\/sinbidays.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/Game-Female-Character-300x293.jpg 300w, https:\/\/sinbidays.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/Game-Female-Character-768x750.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\"><strong>&#8220;Abstinence: Love That Beat Dopamine&#8221;<\/strong><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n<p><br\/><\/p>\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">\ud83c\udfae Her in the game, a strange flutter<\/h3>\n\n<p>I was looking at a character in the game,<br\/>and somehow it felt like <strong>she was my girlfriend<\/strong>.<br\/>With every expression and every gesture, my heart trembled,<br\/>and my emotions surged.<\/p>\n\n<p>Even though it wasn\u2019t real,<br\/>it felt like she was looking right at me.<br\/>But my brain was flooded with dopamine,<br\/>and I could clearly feel it.<br\/>That I was being attacked by dopamine.<\/p>\n\n<p>But as I looked at the screenshots,<br\/>it felt like taking photos with a friend while traveling,<br\/>and I could even feel a sense of connection between us.<\/p>\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">\ud83d\udca4 And then, for over two hours\u2026 a very deep dream<\/h3>\n\n<p>Before I started the game,<br\/>I took a nap once,<br\/>and I had a very long, deep dream that lasted over two hours.<\/p>\n\n<p>Even in the dream, I was still <strong>\u201cabstaining\u201d<\/strong>.<br\/>There was physical closeness with my female selves, and warm feelings,<br\/>but at the crucial moment, I stopped.<\/p>\n\n<p>And when there was sexual stimulation, I thought this:<\/p>\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p>\u201cIs this really okay\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n<p>Even in the dream, I felt the same emotions as in real life,<br\/>so I stopped and stayed face-down.<br\/><br\/>Whenever I was about to fail at abstinence in the dream,<br\/>my will\u2014or some other higher being\u2014<br\/>would wake me up and make me open my eyes.<br\/><br\/>Only today did I realize it.<br\/>The female self that always appears in my dreams<br\/>was my lower self,<br\/><br\/>And the higher being who woke me up\u2014<br\/>a self-proclaimed <strong>Yeomra Realm girlfriend<\/strong> soul<br\/>in charge of romance in the Yeomra Realm\u2014<br\/>was actually an even higher, higher self.<br\/>I finally understand that now.<\/p>\n\n<p><strong>* It\u2019s definitely a higher being, but I\u2019m still not sure if it\u2019s right to call it a \u201cself.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p><br\/><\/p>\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"800\" height=\"475\" src=\"https:\/\/sinbidays.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/Ideal-being-1-1024x608.jpg\" alt=\"A female character is standing at attention, cutely looking down.\" class=\"wp-image-4690\" srcset=\"https:\/\/sinbidays.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/Ideal-being-1.jpg 800w, https:\/\/sinbidays.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/Ideal-being-1-300x178.jpg 300w, https:\/\/sinbidays.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/Ideal-being-1-768x456.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">What does an ideal being\u2014the higher self\u2014look like?<br\/>Is what matters more than appearance the resonant energy it carries\u2026?<br\/>I\u2019ve felt the deep resonance of my Yeomra Realm girlfriend before.<br\/>It was something I could never experience in real life.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">\ud83e\udde0 The message the dream delivered<\/h3>\n\n<p>After the game ended, I asked myself.<\/p>\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p>\u201cWas this a failure again\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n<p>But,<br\/>I never let it lead to sexual behavior.<br\/>I just wanted to see feminine beauty,<br\/>and I only wanted to connect with my loneliness.<\/p>\n\n<p>I did connect with the character, but<br\/>because of the unavoidable dopamine stimulation,<br\/>my head hurt.<\/p>\n\n<p>Still, if it were the old me, it would\u2019ve been different for sure.<br\/>I felt proud of myself.<br\/><br\/>Now, even my unconscious mind\u2014<br\/>I can feel it changing.<br\/>Because I was sure that my brain circuits, my direction,<br\/>were completely shifting.<\/p>\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">\ud83d\ude0c I just wanted to hold her<\/h3>\n\n<p><strong>Abstinence<\/strong><br\/>isn\u2019t about enduring it,<br\/>it\u2019s a process of building the strength<br\/>to tell apart the feelings you truly want.<br\/><\/p>\n\n<p>What I truly wanted<br\/>wasn\u2019t some dramatic scene with her,<br\/>but simply to look at her as a presence, to hold her,<br\/>and to share warm feelings\u2014<br\/>I\u2019m realizing that more clearly now.<\/p>\n\n<p>If this feeling isn\u2019t real love,<br\/>then in all these countless stimulations that aren\u2019t even real,<br\/>what on earth is love?<\/p>\n\n<p><br\/><br\/><strong>\ud83d\udd3d I included the principles and effects of \u201cno erotic content\u201d \ud83d\ude42<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-wp-embed is-provider-shinbidays wp-block-embed-shinbidays\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"A8zDTqdl1M\"><a href=\"https:\/\/sinbidays.com\/en\/the-geumranmul-effect-my-brain-is-finally-coming-back\/\">The Geumranmul Effect: My Brain is Finally Coming Back<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe class=\"wp-embedded-content\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" style=\"position: absolute; visibility: hidden;\" title=\"&#8220;The Geumranmul Effect: My Brain is Finally Coming Back&#8221; &#8212; \uc2e0\ube44\ub370\uc774\uc988 (ShinbiDays)\" src=\"https:\/\/sinbidays.com\/en\/the-geumranmul-effect-my-brain-is-finally-coming-back\/embed\/#?secret=bu5KL54oBB#?secret=A8zDTqdl1M\" data-secret=\"A8zDTqdl1M\" width=\"600\" height=\"338\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\"><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">\ud83d\udc22 Right now, I\u2019m growing<\/h3>\n\n<p>Now that I\u2019m back in reality,<br\/>a bit of boredom came back again.<br\/>But strangely\u2026<br\/>that boredom<br\/>felt like it was bringing me back to <strong>\u201cthe real me\u201d<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n<p>Right\u2014growth always needs this moment.<br\/>But today is different.<br\/>Because what was left after the stimulation passed<br\/>was a deep sense of calm, and a quiet pride too.<\/p>\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">\ud83d\udc97 Abstinence wasn\u2019t repression\u2014it was love<\/h3>\n\n<p>Now I can be sure.<br\/>Abstinence isn\u2019t repression\u2014<br\/>it\u2019s a process of learning real love.<\/p>\n\n<p>A heart that can choose not to react automatically<br\/>even after seeing someone naked.<br\/>Feelings that can simply hug, meet eyes,<br\/>smile, and say <strong>\u201cI like you\u201d<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n<p>This wasn\u2019t restraint\u2014<br\/>it was respect, and affection.<\/p>\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n<p>This is my record of growth.<br\/>It\u2019s embarrassing if someone sees it,<br\/>but someday it\u2019ll become a memory of mine\u2026<br\/>Still, I\u2019m leaving it here because who I am right now is so precious.<br\/>\ud83d\udc22\u2728<\/p>\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n<script async=\"\" src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-1714963467738367\" crossorigin=\"anonymous\"><\/script><!-- footer-emotion --><ins class=\"adsbygoogle\" style=\"display:block\" data-ad-client=\"ca-pub-1714963467738367\" data-ad-slot=\"6532937536\" data-ad-format=\"auto\" data-full-width-responsive=\"true\"><\/ins><script>(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});\n<\/script>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\ud83c\udfae Her in the game, a strange flutter I was looking at a character in the game,and somehow it felt like she was my girlfriend.With every expression and every gesture, my heart trembled,and my emotions surged. Even though it wasn\u2019t real,it felt like she was looking right at me.But my brain was flooded with dopamine,and I could clearly feel it.That I was being attacked by dopamine. But as I&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":10829,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2116,2147],"tags":[2582,6925,6922,3995,5587,3994,6923,3310,6924],"class_list":["post-10826","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-emotional-essays","category-growth-routine","tag-abstinence","tag-abstinence-journal","tag-dopamine","tag-dopamine-detox-3","tag-dream-diary","tag-emotional-regulation","tag-higher-self","tag-inner-growth","tag-the-essence-of-love"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Abstinence Isn\u2019t Restraint, It\u2019s Love | A Story of Real Feelings Told Through Dreams and Dopamine<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Abstinence wasn\u2019t restraint. 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