Unconscious

I had been abstinent again for over seven weeks now, and every time I'd hit the two-week mark, I'd get through the days of failure with willpower and awareness, because getting rid of unhealthy desires isn't about getting stronger, it's about getting weaker. It's different for everyone, but I felt that maintaining abstinence wasn't a strong personal development in itself, that it was a normal state of being.Yesterday, I felt like watching a female character, and I told myself that I wouldn't let myself be swayed by the stimulus anymore, so even if I watched it later, today I just wanted to focus on my senses. And when I went to sleep at night, I had unexpected and strange dreams...