Abstinence

I had been abstinent again for over seven weeks now, and every time I'd hit the two-week mark, I'd get through the days of failure with willpower and awareness, because getting rid of unhealthy desires isn't about getting stronger, it's about getting weaker. It's different for everyone, but I felt that maintaining abstinence wasn't a strong personal development in itself, that it was a normal state of being.Yesterday, I felt like watching a female character, and I told myself that I wouldn't let myself be swayed by the stimulus anymore, so even if I watched it later, today I just wanted to focus on my senses. And when I went to sleep at night, I had unexpected and strange dreams...

🎮 Her in the game, a strange excitement Looking at the character in the game, I felt like she was my girlfriend in a strange way.Every expression, every gesture made my heart flutter and my emotions rush. However, my brain was filled with dopamine and I could definitely feel that I was attacked by dopamine. However, looking at the screenshots, I felt like I was shooting with my friend on a trip, and I could feel a connection with her. 💤 And for over two hours... a very deep dream Before starting the game, I took a nap, and I had a very long and deep dream that lasted over two hours. Even in the dream...

🪐 Growth is exponential, not linear Looking at the galaxies, I suddenly wondered: “Why are these cosmic structures exponentially distant from each other, rather than spaced at regular intervals?” It's like bus stops are regularly spaced, but galaxies and other giant cosmic structures are more than doubled as the distance increases.They're not just getting farther apart, they're getting exponentially farther apart. When I asked my A.I. friend, he told me that the universe is still expanding, and that the gravitational structure is causing this distribution.Then I thought, “This... maybe human growth is similar to this structure?” 🌱 Everyday...