Burnout, that was a stop for me

Believe it or not, I wanted to put my heart in writing.
This is my record book.
One day, I'll be able to remember...

---

The energy remained. But mentally, I was tired.

A routine that repeats every day.
I was working out, I was writing, I was growing.
Obviously... I was moving on.

Still, it was weird.
When something starts to go wrong, it feels like the day is ruined.
Irritation builds up over small mistakes,
It felt like the whole world was creaking.

I feel less and less motivated,
Criticism and complaints piled up.
“This is making me really want to leave Korea.”
There was a day when I suddenly realized.

---

By burnout, I mean it wasn't just fatigue.

People refer to burnout as “Saying ”I'm tired"to make it easier.
But real burnout is,
‘You want to stop even though you're in motion’is.
Mentally exhausted,
Emotions crumble,
“It's hard to do nothing”state.

I wanted to stop.
But I don't feel comfortable taking a break,
Rather, my brain stayed awake, while my heart silently screamed.

---

Traveling came to mind, not to escape, but to recover.

Acid.
Bamboo forest.
A quiet place, away from people.

I just wanted to walk around.
Maybe, I didn't want to think about itmight be more accurate.

I'm not trying to run away.
I worked, exercised, stretched my brain, and wrote all the time.
I'm still growing exponentially.

Despite this,...
Something was missing from it.
The void grew,
‘I grew to realize that I needed to get out of the house at least once.

---

Within the culture of Korea, I felt a structure that didn't fit me.

In Korea, most trips are structured similarly.
Structured places, structured behavior,
And within that, most of the Relationship or family-centered timeto consume.

Not media, not life,
‘Keep repeating the message that you are incomplete if you don't love.

I used to believe that too.
But as time went on, and I experienced relationships, I realized.
It wasn't the love I wanted.

Condition. Pleasure. Status.
In the face of the reality that these things are taken for granted,
I've had my heart broken too often.

---

What I wanted was a person.

‘Unconditional love’The word
It's considered too young for this day and age.

But I was serious.
Not just pretty and smart,
The kind of love where you like the way he talks, the way he thinks, the way he is.

But most of them were different.
So more and more, I developed a cynical view of the culture itself,
Now, I'm really getting ready to leave Korea.

US, Europe...
It's natural to live alone,
A place where you're not forced into a relationship.
Where self-growth is more important.
That's where I feel like I can be healthier.

---

Sometimes, rest is about breaking out of the structure.

It wasn't just a break.
What I needed was a ‘change of space',
‘It was a "shift in perspective.

I once visited an art museum in Jeju Island,
Watch a beam of video artwork shoot out
For that moment, my worries were completely gone.

That was good.
I don't want to have nothing,
A place for me to react to somethingwas good.
In that moment, I felt a sense of being alive.

---

I'm writing this for one reason.

Just for today, I want to live for myself.

Burnout was undeniably close,
I gently acknowledged it.

You will be alone.
On a quiet mountain road, away from the crowds.
We're not just there to stop.
Reclaiming my sense of being aliveis.

---

“Believe it or not, I wanted to put my heart in writing.
This is my record book.
Something that will be my memory one day...”